Faith Life

Aged Grief is still Grief

Grandpa. He’s been gone just over twenty-two years. It’s hard to imagine sometimes that it’s been that long, but maybe I’m wondering how I got so grown up. I was his first grandchild and it’s pretty well known that I had him wrapped around my little finger.

This evening I was searching for a pair of earrings for my daughter. I pulled out my jewelry box, which is a box that stores much more than just jewelry, it has my history and my memories. Somehow, I’ve managed to keep a card for 22 years that Grandpa sent for my high school graduation. The card arrived a week before he did, it was an intentional gift and message that he wanted to be sure was set apart from the rest of the graduation commotion. It’s been years since I’ve read the card, but I know it’s there when I need it.

I read it aloud to my daughter and began to cry. The tears flowed, my voice cracked, it was as if the funeral was just a month ago, but it wasn’t. Somehow, I’ve lived more of my life without him than with him.

Providentially, today’s bible reading was John 11. The story of Lazarus. The story of how Jesus wept. John 11:35. 2020 was a year of loss for many people, and somehow that type of loss passed by my heart and my home. I was shocked that this old bent card with some shaky handwriting brought on the waterworks. I love so much that Jesus was fully God AND fully Man. He walked this very earth and experienced temptation, frustration, and grief.

Grief is a unique experience that helps show us what we love and treasure. Grief isn’t limited to the experience of losing a loved one. When the road of life bends, we can grieve what is lost or what has changed. I’m so thankful that I understand that both of my grandparents were followers and believers of Christ. I have a blessed assurance that we will be united again one day. This life is just a vapor and eternity together will be so sweet. Until then, I’m grateful for the memory and the words that my Heavenly-Father left me in the bible, and also the shaky handwriting in that card from my Grandfather.

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